Sunday, January 23, 2011
Cult Of The Waning Moon
Warning: Below is a grimness you may want to avoid.
My grumpiness gets all tied up with the fact that politics is such a tangled mess. Although I want to write something intelligent and inspiring... the truth is I have no hope. The only things that make me truly angry are mayor Rob Ford and prime minister Stephen Harper. All else is meagre and possibly just simply annoying.
My darkness is this lack of hope and it is possibly the most negative thing I possess. It is exacerbated by the fact that I cannot find work that gives me a paycheck unless I sell my soul to the corporate devil. Well, that and change my hair colour. Running a small business with my own blood sweat and tears is positively out of the question because then I'd have to jump through so many hoops and obtain so many seemingly unnecessary permits that after it all I am left with nothing to expend on my product. Well that and I cannot compete with China and its populace of abused citizens working for 13 cents a day.
In answering my own question "What do I want?" I find myself in a mire of helplessness that drains me of enthusiasm. Yes, I wanted to live in a world that had human dignity. That 'want' was dashed by capitalism. I want to live meagerly, yet comfortably in the city where my family and friends live. Although I am managing to still do this, the possibility of continuing to do so is waning because I cannot find a way to earn a paycheck without selling my soul. We are all required to sell our souls. Those that do not are outcast. What kind of world is this we live in?
I "wanted" to help fix the problems our parents made in destroying this planet. Since we've learned that driving cars and burning fossil fuels is killing us all and everything around us, I sat up in my seat with hope that I could be a part of fixing it. That I could feel useful as the person I am with my soul and haircolour intact. But both the mayor of Toronto and the Prime Minister of Canada are taking us back into the problem and out of the solution by canceling all the green initiatives that were so difficult to get instituted to begin with.
Whatever, I'm a complainer and a lazy bum because I don't work. I'm a troublemaker because I ride a bicycle and don't drive a car and I'm a fucking anarchist because I 'want' the stupid economy to fall. How else can we fucking let go of what is killing us and build again? The politicians won't let it happen. The corporations won't let it happen. I seethe and I rage and then I fizzle out and lose hope because what can I do? Tell me I am wrong but I think we are fucked.
Meh... maybe it will pass. Being a true Aries I defer to Scarlet... "Tomorrow is another day."
May there be many tomorrows and may my quiet and helpless rage find a way to resolve itself.